Sofa So Good

The Serjeant at Arms department in the House of Commons is considered by most MPs to be a law unto itself and the real power inside the building. As well as allowing his Sargeness to ponce about in tights wearing a sword, the department is in charge of all sorts of things including the furniture in MPs' offices. So they quickly guessed the culprit when their sofas - so useful for a quick nap after lunch - started disappearing. Apparently, it has been decided that the sofas were too small for two people to sit on without being "over intimate", and over intimacy would never do in the House of Commons. So they are being replaced with single seater armchairs to keep our democratically elected representatives chaste. Carry on, Serjeant.

Having a Brazilian

My girlfrend has been a big fan of that for a while but I am not entirely sure it was a good idea for SO19. There we all were, thinking how good it was that one of the bastards had got his comeuppance and what happens is they shoot some poor South American electrician, who may or may not have been illegal and may or may not have had some Columbian marching powder in his pocket. I mean, how incompetent do they have to prove themselves to be? Take that along with the intelligence report which said there was no group capable of mounting an attack and you have to say....er, what he f**k? What we do know is there is a bunch of homicidal, tooled up psychos out there. And they haven't found the 21/7 bombers yet either.

You Know it Makes Sense

Surprisingly little human rights concern over the shooting of the alleged would-be bomber on the Tube. Which, shows, I suppose, how far we have come. After all, there was a shoot-to-kill policy in Northern Ireland for years but nobody would admit it. Mind you, they refused to admit there was a war going on either. Anyway, the solution to security on the Tube is simple and an old one - arm the People! There are more of us than there are of them.

Have you anything to say to a grateful nation?

Sorry to go on about Channel Four, but the international dictatorship of the proletariat will never be brought about by public school boys in garish ties. How on earth Jon Snow was allowed to give "Red" Ken such a soft ride last night over the suicide bombings is beyond me.

To the barricades, Comrades

How nice to see that Elinor Goodman has been given a job on a government quango trying to get more homes built in the countryside. A fair and just reward for years of political reporting on Channel Four. And another example of the "great" and the "good" helping eachother to be, er, great and good. How can you report the government and then take a job with it? Surely that is a comment on what went before? Anyway, thing about the countryside is, it's full of trees and full of....