Dave is God

No, honest, he really is. He is just brilliant, fantastic, young , vibrant, call me Dave, potent, fertile, all-embracing and, dammit, a winner. I would let my daughter marry him. I would encourage her to give him a blow job whether he married her or not. But he would remember her name and thank her nicely afterwards, I bet. He is the man to lead the Tory party to victory. He wears nice suits. He can shave himself, unlike some of those blind Labour bastards. He is married to posh totty. He is great. And please forget anything I or anybody else has said about the Tory party before this. Thankyou.