Fucking Hell I Got Propositioned Tonight

By which I mean, there I was walking along Piccadilly, having come from the pub and thinking, blimey must get to Piccadilly Circus tube, when what looked like an Italian tourist young lady walked up and said, got a light. Yes, I say, because I had, and offered to light her cigarette, after she proffered it, for her. As I did so her hand went somewhere and mine, frankly, ever pragmatic, went to my wallet, to check it was still there. Very strange, and I thought, hey what is happening here? What was her plan? Well, clearly money. Do I look like a John? I bloody hope not. But what was on offer? Blow job in Green Park? Long tube journey home for soulless/ful sex on my sofa in my sad living space in sarf London? I mean, what was she thinking of? And she clearly by the end of the invitation was not Italian. Of course, I went my chaste way home. I thought, well, that sort of thing probably happened in the 18th century, but how fascinating that eastern Europeans seem to be re-animating our past. I have lived in London for 20 years and that has NEVER happened before. Welcome to the new world comrades. I said she could be my cleaner. What have we done?