Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Who Do You Love?

Fantastic piece today in Private Eye - despite the fact that they are a bunch of middle class wankers - about the Blair-Brown local government launch love-in. The cheeseyness of it, the pathetic attempts at orchestration, the sheer self-delusion of the main players, which all shows that Blair still has not realised he must simply fuck off and quickly and Brown thinks the people will love him. He must be mad. They will hate him for his detachment, his stealth taxes, his creepy bachelorhood, his terminal gaucheness and his eventual catalogue bride. And the people charged with organising that fiasco (the local goverment launch I mean) all think they are professionals, do they? The Lib Dems and the Tories must be creaming themselves. Professional is not being seen doing it. Ask Charlie Whelan, and mention the Red Lion. Lib Dems again. Also loved the tale of Ian Kirby, alleged political editor of the News of the World, being called in to interview the ridiculous pair and hearing Dave "Over the" Hill, press secretary or something apparently, instructing Tone and Gord to talk to eachother as Kirby approached. Play nice, children, eh? Blair is a vacuous self-seeking wannabe popstar and future celebrity who should have been in Coldplay and hijacked the party of the people, betrayed a generation who yearned for a Labour government under Thatcher and is prepared to get in bed with Bush and Berlusconi. Gordon Brown is a man who makes David Miliband look interesting. Give me Alan Milburn any time. And I hate to say it, but give me call me Dave? Also, the only good thing about David Hill is he is not Alastair Campbell. Which is probably why Campbell effectively sacked him before Hill returned. Still, I wonder how the Kirby story got into Private Eye. Kirby, who has not had a real story in his entire NoW career, was probably boasting in the Press Gallery, and some dreadful snitch told it on. Poor soul. Still, he can always commission another poll. That will give him a story. I hate to say this as an alleged blogger, but the quality of political reporting in the newspapers is at an all-time low compared to what you can find with the judicial use of a mouse (and I do not include myself in that). What a load of bollocks, and if you think that means I do not have any answers, so what. I would not have started from here.

6 comments:

barbara worth said...

Good piece, Gran. I enjoyed it.

I'm just a hick from the sticks so my only interest is as one of the poor bloody infantry of voters, rather than having any sort of inside track or professional interest- so I suspect I am not looking at this from entirely the same perspective as you.

However, I entirely agree with you about Blair's total meretriousness. He is a media pop-tart and makes Chris Martin look deep.

You are right also in saying that Gordon Brown is creepy. He is the sort of person most middle class people outside the Westminster Village haven't met since university. Then we suspected that people like Gordon were into politics because they were too self-obsessed and socially inept to get a girlfriend. We're not entirely sure we want someone like that as PM.

This is an interesting reversal. In many ways, I guess I am a natural Tory voter but its many years since I have been able to vote for them because I have found the people in charge so very creepy.

On paper I should loathe Dave the OE PR man, but in fact for all his obvious shortcomings (like that shot of him cycling to work with his Jag following) I rather like the guy. He isn't swivel eyed and you have the impression that he could make a cheese sandwich and buy his own underpants.

This is important because most of the current lot and Dave's predecessors give the impression that not only do they never expect to have to pay for their own plane or train ticket, they would not in fact know how to buy one as some factotum has done the job since shortly after they stopped InterRailing. I have no problem with people being time poor and cash rich enough to have services done for them, that's the way of the modern world and we all like it like that. However, taken to the extreme in the political class - for which the rest of us pays- it's very unhealthy.

So I think Dave is in with a chance. He isn't creepy. He might have to watch a tendency to look vacuous under pressure which would send the voters running screaming to the hills as we know where that leads. Let's see.

Finally I had to laugh when you mentioned the Ian Kirby story. I immediately thought "I'm sure I've seen that on the web". I eventually realised that I had flipped through "Private Eye" earlier in the day at a friend's office. (It's pedal to the metal in the private sector, let me tell you). However, my mind could not compute that I had seen something on dead wood before I saw it on the screen. Sign o' the times. I'm thinking of calling it SSS (sad surfer syndrome)

stalin's gran said...

Barbara - thanks for reading. I appreciate it. The views of "hicks from the sticks" are far more important than the bollocks that is talked in the Westminster village, so keep thinking what you are thinking. Call me Dave did not have a Jag following, by the way, but he still managed to look like a dick. Gordon Brown is creepy, isn't he? A blog you might enjoy, who is not me (thank God) is steveregan.merseyblogs.co.uk.

stalin's gran said...

By the way, was that a criticism re dead wood being first about Private Eye? I just bounce off whatever I find.....

barbara worth said...

Thanks, I will check out Steve Regan's blog. Not a criticism re: the Eye being first- just laughing at myself that I could not accept that I had actually seen something on paper first and assumed I MUST have seen it on the web somewhere.

Was the "Who do you love?" headline a Clapton allusion? I feel like Tony wants to be my "Forever man" (.. ever man, ever man, ever man) and I'm getting a bit fed up with it...

stalin's gran said...

Barbara - I am trying to think whether that was a Clapton allusion. I think not. I believe the song is even older than him.

hangthedj said...

Yeah I used to work with Kirby when I was a trainee reporter at the Screws. The man is a byline stealing twat. I once also asked him to help me out with a few MPs numbers as I had to get a qoute on some awful story I was writing. Kirby was really helpfull at first and gave me three numbers, offering to give me more if they didn't work out. So I duly went back over to him to ask, but the deputy ed. happened to be there and Kirby said: "For god's sake, I have helped you out once already. You are now going to have to ask someone else or go through Tory HQ...I have better things to do". Twat. This was clearly to make me look bad in front of Neil Wallis. A bit sharky when I was just starting out at 20....